Human connection saves more lives than perhaps any medical intervention out there. I wrote this line during a dark time earlier this year and it's been ringing through my head for the past few days. This weekend, I witnessed the truth of it in front of my own eyes as twenty strangers came together and healed - as human connection saved lives. Twenty women walked into a weekend as strangers, bravely opened up and bared their souls to each other, cried together, laughed together, danced together, conquered fears, discovered their self-worth, and left with friends and memories that will last a lifetime. There were breakdowns and breakthroughs. There were moments of falling apart, and without hesitation, being built back up by the nineteen other women in the room. It did not matter if you were 19 or 63, who you were outside of this weekend, where you came from or what your life path had been thus far - being human was enough. Regardless of any "defining" factors, there were nineteen women sitting beside you, loving you unconditionally, giving the space and support needed to rebuild, and cheering you on along the way. Witnessing these beautiful ladies form connections, heal, transform and leave with their heads held high, radiating a new-found confidence and spark for life, was one of the most powerful and moving experiences I have ever had. It will remain etched in my memory for the rest of my life. Yet, words cannot do this experience justice. For some moments in life, there are no words. It can make the raw vulnerability of them incredibly painful. It can make the magic of them overwhelmingly beautiful. These moments can reach both ends of the spectrum of good and bad, happy and sad, making and breaking. But irregardless of where they fall, these are the moments that alter our life trajectories in the most powerful of ways. These are the redefining moments. These are the moments of self-discovery. These are the moments of realization, when we finally understand what it truly means to come alive. These are the moments when we see what it is to be human in this world. These are the moments when we see how barriers don't keep people out, they fence us in. These are the moments when bonds can be both formed and broken. These are the moments that can make us feel caged and suffocated. These are the moments that can set us free. This weekend, I witnessed twenty women be set free. I witnessed twenty women find their strength and their courage. I witnessed twenty women cry tears of pain and tears of joy. I witnessed twenty women realize they are enough. I witnessed twenty women come to understand how life is not so much about what sets us apart, but about the bonds we share that bring us together despite our differences. This weekend, I witnessed human connection save the lives of twenty women - whether we are talking figuratively or literally. This weekend, I witnessed human connection save lives. And while no words can ever do justice to what we experienced over our three days together, I do have a few on my mind - a few I wrote during that dark time, earlier this year. To the women I just met, to the women I have yet to meet, and to the people unsure of how to be in this world, what I will leave you with are these words. These words I deemed instructions for the future. These words I wrote in the hopes that one day people would be better - the world would be better. These words, which I realized, were also instructions for myself. I love you all. Each and every one of you I have and haven't met. Keep shining. Keep soldiering on. Photos by Digidel I hope you will travel. I hope you will experience other cultures with open hearts and minds. And open your hearts to each other. Love each other. Be there for each other. And don’t let go. The shadows are a scary place to be alone.
Climb mountains. Watch storms. Find peace in the chaos of the world. There is something to be said for high, windy places - they bring a calm I cannot describe, and I hope you when you find these places, you stay awhile. They are my favourite. See the beauty in the everyday ordinary. Search for it everywhere. In the words of Shane Koyczan, “Try to understand someone else’s sense of what’s beautiful. They may help show you something you didn’t see at first glance.” And seek to understand the lives of people who live or behave differently than you. Spend time with people both older and younger than you. Interact with people without judgement. We do not know the struggles others are facing. We will likely never know each other’s full story. We all have secrets, hidden pains, and things that are too difficult to share. Be mindful of this. Be mindful of everything you can. And remember not one of us is perfect. Next, I’d like to ask you to fight. Fight for the things you believe in. Don’t let your voices be silenced by this world. Fight for increased funding for mental health resources and coverage. Please. The system is incredibly oversubscribed and underfunded. Fight for women’s rights and equality. Everywhere. Fight to abolish rape culture and for a change in the discourse regarding sexual assault. And do not shame sexual assault survivors, making them keep their trauma to themselves. Believe them. We did not want this to happen to us. We did not enjoy it. It was terrifying. Fight for modifications to the education system to make it more sustainable for the students who endure it. Fight for girls education worldwide. Fight for access to clean water and sanitation, in both Canada and abroad. You’d never believe the way it could change the world. Fight for science and sustainable living. Fight for those who no longer have it in them to fight for themselves. Greet the broken and suffering with open arms. Take the time to learn about the lives of people who have experienced completely different things from you. Believe their stories. Pay attention. And listen. Really listen. Human connection saves more lives than perhaps any medical intervention out there. I know it has saved me many times. Fight to live a deeper, more meaningful life. Please, just fight. For me. For you. For everyone. Be advocates for a better future because the world is not okay. Especially right now. And please, remember this: we are not as different from each other as we may think. We really aren’t. When I was a kid, I was deeply moved by the quote from Lion King II, when Kiara says to Simba, “Look at them, they are us. What differences do you see?” It caused a shift inside of 6 year-old me, and may be the reason I walked away from the societal norm for eight months when I was older to travel and live abroad in countries much different from Canada. It may be the reason my desire to keep booking flights to new places exists. Because at the core of our beings, we are all the same. Despite any cultural differences, we all want love, belonging, laughter and hope. We all want to be happy. We all want to feel like we matter to someone - like we are needed. We all want to feel heard and understood. If you’ve never heard me before, then read this over and hear me now: fight like hell. This world is incredible and breathtaking - please take time to notice that - but it could be infinitely better if we were all a bit more mindful of when to use our voices and when to listen, if we all knew the time to fight for what is right is ALWAYS right now, if we were all a bit more honest, understanding and open with each other and those from different walks of life than our own. So please: Be kind. Open your hearts. And really listen. Believe people when they tell their truth. Instead of pushing them aside, hold them closer - our lives are all difficult in individual ways. Question the things which do not seem right in this world or could be better. Raise your voices. Be advocates for a better tomorrow. And to all you quiet, reserved people out there: what you have to say is so incredibly important and profound. You are the observers of the world, meaning you can articulate the truth in a way many others cannot or do not even notice enough to begin articulating. Speak up. What you think and have to say matters. SO much. You will be the people to change the world. Believe me. To everyone: Fight like hell. Please. Because I know your potential is immeasurable.
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I grew up in a tiny village in the Rocky Mountains, where I had a really strong sense of community. My neighbours were my family. I was not only raised by my parents, but also my neighbours. They taught me some of the most essential lessons I know. They were a huge influence on who I am today. In African proverbs, they say it takes a village to raise a child, and it's true. Everyone was always looking out for each other. Everyone cared. And when my family moved away when I was 10 years old, I lost that sense of community - we all kind of did. And I think I've spent my life searching for it ever since. Something has always been missing. I've never quite gotten my sea legs. Everywhere and nowhere has always been home. But in the words of Taiye Selasi, "We can never go back to a place and find it exactly where we left it. Something, somewhere, will always have changed; most of all, ourselves." And it was an important move. I am grateful for it in many ways - it allowed me to experience so much that I wouldn't have otherwise. But there are things I've always missed. And as a result, I've searched for this sense of community elsewhere, in all the nooks and cranny's of the world.
I finally found it again 9 years later in travelling, amongst both local people and travellers - people who would care simply because you are a human being. People who would look out for you, help you, make sure you were safe, because you are human. That was enough of a reason to care. And that community of people is probably the most remarkable one I've ever experienced, from both the giving and receiving ends. Maybe it's rooted in the fact that there is no long-term commitment to bear the weight of others lives, to always be a shoulder to lean on, to always show up and care. It's possible. But I'd like to believe it's because being a human who has feelings and a story is enough of a reason to care. Enough of a reason to pause and ask yourself how you could possibly be a kind, compassionate individual in any given situation. Enough of a reason to treat complete strangers as equals; as people who deserve to be seen. And maybe these people, who are curious about the world and each other, are actually willing to recognize these facts of humanity. Maybe it's why we all want to leave the Western world and go somewhere different - go somewhere where people actually understand the meaning of life and what it is to be human; somewhere where community is the foundation off which society is built. And here, in whatever this "Western world" is, we aren't supposed to be humans. Our society is not really built for caring. Nobody seems to want to know the actual, entire human that you are and what has led you to become that way. It's the reason we label people with loaded terms like alcoholic, addicted, homeless, disabled, depressed, mentally ill, reckless, destructive, and the list goes on - we just pick a label and dismiss. We've all been guilty of it at some point. It's the reason our society is so divided. It's the reason we're all secretly kind of miserable. It's the reason we feel alone. Because if you acknowledge the raw truth of another person's human experience, it will most likely reveal some painful truth about ourselves or our own lives that is easier not to know. Because it's easier to push people aside with labels, with dismissive comments, or out of fear. It's much easier. It is also a much lonelier and much less meaningful way to live. At the core of our beings, we are all the same. We are all human. And the scariest thing of all, is those who are too afraid to accept that as true. Those who are too afraid to stop and try to understand. Those who choose the simpler route of walking away or dismissing the challenges an individual may have faced. And in a society full of "highly educated" people, still so few understand. They skipped the lesson on humanity. The fact that at the core of our beings, we are all the same, just never seeped into their bones. It was never absorbed in the rush of it all. I like the places where being human is enough. At the core of our beings, we are all the same. We are all human. And that should be enough of a reason to take the time to try to understand. To open your mind. To look out for someone. To acknowledge an experience or feeling foreign to you as legitimate. To accept. To not dismiss. To truly see people in all of their humanity. To treat people as equals. To be on someone's team. Being human should be enough. Why did you choose to go to _________?
There will always be people who try to dissuade you from doing things they are afraid to do or going places they are afraid to go themselves. Always. We live in a culture of fear, but do not succumb to it. Do not fear the world. Instead, fear the media, the politicians, and all those that instil terror in you of anything outside the walls that surround you and keep you “safe.” Fear the box you live in. Fear the rat race – the life measured by possessions and bank account balances, rather than experiences. Be very afraid of those things, but do not fear the world. It’s not nearly as scary as you think it is. I’m not trying to be ignorant to the fact that absolutely awful things do happen in this world. All the time. In every single country. But they are not the whole story. Every country has its magic – has something incredible to offer. Don’t listen to those who try to tell you otherwise. Please, look beyond the headlines and what the naysayers tell you, and do not fear the world. Instead, fear the way you are told to think about the world and the way you do think about it. Question it. And, maybe, try to change it. Copan Ruinas, Honduras
I took a class last year that involved examining the role of social media in our understanding of international issues. We looked at many social media frenzies like the one occurring right now, and asked, “Do we just share, like and comment to feel like we’ve done our bit of good for the day? Do these small actions really mean anything? Or are we just liking and sharing for the feel good factor, and not really educating ourselves on the underlying issues?” I have never had a class teach me to so critically question all the ways we can approach international issues, and I would like to urge you to think about how you are approaching them. Do you really care about them? Does the way you are choosing to care reflect your beliefs? Don’t get me wrong, I believe social media can be an incredible platform to convey messages, ideas, and initiate change – if we use it appropriately. All I’m asking is, don’t just do… think. Think about what you are doing, how is it contributing (positively or negatively) to the issue at hand, and are there better ways?
Eight months ago I boarded a plane to Tanzania and set off to start my travels. Eight brilliant months have now passed. People told me before I left that I was lucky. I told them it was a choice. I want to say that Canada may be a big, beautiful country, but it is also a part of a big, beautiful world. Please, go see it. Travel as far and wide as you can, but in the journey to new distances, don’t forget to aim for new depths. Be curious. You will learn the most valuable lessons. You will meet the most incredible people. You will have the most enriching experiences. You will live fully. The obstacles that limit us don’t really exist if we don’t let them. You have the power to make a choice, and at the end of the day our biggest obstacle is usually ourselves. Don’t let the obstacles override the dreams. It’s a choice, remember? You can choose."Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman
I spent my first year of university with that quote glancing down at me from its place on the wall of my dorm room - a simple reminder that unintentionally changed my views and my "five-year plan." For me, being an organized person doesn't just mean being organized from day-to-day, but also having my goals mapped out a little bit in advance (sometimes years). However, I've decided to stray off my preconceived path in an attempt to listen to my heart rather than my head, in an attempt to learn about life rather than how to "make a living." Quote number two on my wall at university was from Oscar Wilde, which read, "Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." This one always has me wondering where the most important lessons I've learned so far have come from and what is really worth knowing. What are the most valuable lessons we learn? To top it all off, good old Mark Twain piped in and said, "Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education"... I think I'll take his advice on this one. Here's the new plan: 241 days. 8 months. 6 or more countries. Three months of volunteering in Arusha, Tanzania. Five months of backpacking in Southeast Asia. A full lap around the world by airplane. Tanzania. Indonesia. Cambodia. Thailand. Laos. Vietnam. An adventure that some may say is a little ambitious. Oh, and by the way, I've never left North America before. My decision to embark on this journey has received various responses, one being: "you're so lucky." But before I go, let me just clarify and say this: luck is not responsible for landing me in this position. Luck did not allow me to deny succumbing to the obstacles, societal beliefs, and expectations I had placed upon myself and others had placed upon me. Luck did not give me the courage to turn this massive, untouchable dream into a reality. Nor did luck put a handful of plane tickets in my hand, a yellow fever jab in my arm, and a stubborn determination in my mind. I did. And so can you. What I've truly come to recognize in the past while is that your dreams and aspirations are not meant to be silenced. Give them the time of day. The battle between your head and your heart doesn't have to be perpetual. Avoiding picking sides may be considered the right thing to do in most situations, but it's also exhausting. Please, just choose one already. The goals we make should not be based on validation and the prospective magnitude of our bank account balances. They should be based on that dream you have that is dying to live. On the fact that doubt is just a five letter word, and you are more than capable of overcoming it. On the fact that the world needs you to come alive. Think about this: what would you do if you weren't afraid? Now, go do it. Just try. Believe me, it feels great! Anyways, I'm off. Wild at heart. Free spirit. Lost. Found. Risk-taker. Change-seeker. Believer. Wanderer. Dreamer. Whatever you want to call me. I'll be chasing the sun. See you soon? |